DRAKES

CAPS LOCK ENGAGED.

EWR9BU-BRUBR9VBUHNEWRP9V[BN9EWRUGVEW

FUCK DRAKES. THEY ARE THE MOST BORING, UNIMAGINATIVE, STUPID SHIPS IN THE ENTIRE GAME. THEY ARE MEATSHEILDS WITHOUT THE MEAT. THEY ARE LIKE SAFETY BELTS, IM SURE THEY HAVE THIER USES, BUT THEY SURE ARENT USED FOR FUN.

I HATE EVERY SINGLE PERSON (CAP LOCK DISENGAGED, except you larsypoo, CAPS LOCK ENGAGED) WHO FLY DRAKES. GET SOME STYLE. GET SOME SENSE OF FUN. IT IS NOT FUN TO SIT IN A BELT AT ZERO, TANKING AND NOTHING ELSE. IT IS NOT FUN HAVING TO SHOOT A DRAKE WITH BOUNCERS.

DRAKES ARE NOT FUN. DRAKE PILOTS ARE NOT FUN. I HATE YOU ALL.

RAGE

EINVWPVUNWRVUNWR9VWNRV

YES

I MAD

MAD!!!!!!!!!

Ahhh, thats better.

EPIC VICTORY OF EPIC PROPORTIONS

It is today. The most glorious of days, that The Python Cartel has succeeded where many of failed. Many corps and alliances have tried to achieve what we have achieved today. For 3 years we have tried, and today we reached our goal.

No, we did not take over an entire 0.0 region. We didn't kill a Mothership with a bunch of Rifters, neither did we crush one of our bitter enemies under our pink snakeskin boots. No, none of those things. What we accomplished was of much greater significance.

For today.... we HOTDROPPED a BANTAM, mining in a belt in MARA.

GLORIOUS!

How to lose a two billion isk fleet?

Easy.

Make me FC and this happens! BEHOLD!

It started off a nice little armor hac gang. It would of been abit bigger if the people who signed up for the op actualy showed up. But this is Python afterall.

We ended up rolling around FW land, trying to goad people into a fight. They wouldnt fight us 1-1, not even 2-1 with bigger ships, instead, they fight us 3-1 with Carriers and ECM.

We even had our scout see the massive gang massing on the gate nearby, and we saw they had a Carrier and several battleship in system... but I told everyone to stick around anyway. Tonight we was guna get a fight. Win or Lose.

So 40 minutes of waiting for the chumps to get thier shit together.... the fight started! It started pretty well too, we dropped the Scorpion and a Myrmidon pretty fast. But in came the ECM and in came the Carrier. With our two gaurdians perma jammed we didnt last very long.

After talking to one of the guys afterwards, apparently they didnt mean to blob us, it was just a coincidence.

Gallabella > faction warfare accidently blobbing?

Of course. Faction war never blob on purpose. Where is the fun in that?

Best part was the comments after:

Knutsov > thats why you fly with ecm
Knutsov > cause eveyone else is using it

Helicity Boson > way to give them nice kills

Knutsov > well blame the time
Knutsov > we waited too long tbh

Helicity Boson > tbh i think its fucking retarded to engage suicidally on purpose
Helicity Boson > but hey

Lachesis VII > just seems like we could have been more productive
Lachesis VII > thats all

Kazaji > But skye, even i have to say, that was a bit silly
Kazaji > when we saw local go up by 30

Not everyone was a whiney bitch tho.

Golden Helmet > for HONOR

Jeros Hun > python are spartans
Jeros Hun > they fight to the last man

Angel Petroni > good fight guys.
Golden Helmet > gf
Angel Petroni > Very commendable. You should join the caldari militia and teach them to grow a spine. :D

Sir Juggalo > meh
Sir Juggalo > tbh losing ships is a part of the game if u dont wanna lose it dont leave station

But it was fun. You cant win them all. I just wish more people valued the fun of a fight MORE than the stats on their killboard and the isk in their wallet.

The Great Python Named and Shamed: Vol 1

Hear' ye! Hear' ye!

Attention to all ye' who shalt hear! there hast been a great failure within the ranks of the MIGHTY band of ragtags known to all as the Python Cartel.

It has been decreed that all shalt hear of this failure.

T'was just last night that a Pirate known as Gallabella lost his mighty Ishtar class Assault Cruiser in the line of duty! But oh' the Horror! The Ishtar was fitted with a dishonourable warp stab.

Let it be known that Gallabella shalt not go unpunished! Tis' a crime that deserves justice! and justice shalt be served! In addition to being demoted to deck scrubbing duty, for no less than two months, Gallabella shalt also be receiving many years of hearing the phase "LOL REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU FIT WARP STABS ON YOUR ISHTAR!"

A suitable punishment indeed! May this serve as a warning to all who would fit warp stabs on thier vessels. There can be no greater dishonour!