Saturday, 14 August 2010

All your alliance belongs to us.

Hi there.

As you might be aware. I stole all of Spectres Isk and most of his ships. One thing I forgot to mention when I told everyone this... I also stole his shares.

Now Python had 3 main Directors. Me, GH and Spectre. We each had roughly 1/3 of the shares, in the off chance one of us disappeared off the face of the earth, or had to take a break, or started being a complete faggot. So by me stealing Spectre's shares, I had the majority of the shares.

This was my insurance, should Golden Helmet try and remove me from the corp (for stealing Spectre's stuff)

Well, Golden helmet did actually disapprove with my theft (no idea why) and he demanded he give it back. Of course, this was out of the question. So we ended up arguing and he told me when he got home he was going to remove me from the corp.

But he didn't know I had Spectre's shares, and when he logged on I immediately clicked the "Run for CEO" button on the corp tab (I like to shove things in peoples faces). This removed GH's CEO capabilities, including his ability to kick me from the corp.

I voted for myself, obviously. and there was no way GH could win. The vote passed a small while agoso... I am now the new CEO of Python and The Jerk Cartel. I honestly still don't know what I am going to do with the alliance, as I didn't really plan that far ahead.

So what should I do with it? Give it away? Give it back to GH? (not likely lol) recruit a bunch of carebears and start running missions? simply disband it? or what?

I'm taking suggestions! give me some ideas!


  1. Give it to Lady Spank, It is is her birthday today lol

  2. Recruit carebears and run missions!!!

  3. I second the giving it to Lady Spank idea...

  4. I approve of the Jerk Cartel being led by the biggest jerk! It's like the old tribal leadership challenges. You won. :)

  5. No doubt about it, you are a sneaky bastard!
    Evil, but epic :)

    I have a challenge for you: try leading the corp.
    You won the position. See if you can fill the shoes.

  6. Seriously man. Fuck off!

    It's one thing to totally dick Spec, but now you're dicking all of us. Now you force us to fucking put up with this shit or all start a new home when so much of us have put time into Python.

    Just give one of us CEO and be an asshole somewhere else.

  7. Absolutely hilarious. Best thing I've read all day.

  8. You are in a unique position, use it wisely.

    You have a ready made Alliance which could dominate the Eve universe [imagine music fit for an Emperor (or Empress *cough*)]

    Firstly start carefully by recruiting. I know nothing of the base corp but you must have "some players" ask for recruiters and start building up. Sort out your finances for stability and create a council that can advise.

    While this is in progress, decide on what your ultimate goal will be:-

    a) Dominate the universe [ naturally]
    ... okay let's be realistic

    b) Control a sov in Nul-Sec

    c) Have no base but roam a favourite area

    d) Become a High-Sec nightmare for carebear players

    Until you decide what your goal is, there is very little you can do...

  9. If anyone in "your" group had half a brain they would leave now and join somewhere else.

    Here's why. This person can NOT be trusted. Obviously.

    What kind of dimwits would stay wanting to have a known scamming thief in charge? Use your brains people and abandon ship before you get bent over and screwed up the wazoo next.

  10. "What kind of dimwits would stay wanting to have a known scamming thief in charge? Use your brains people and abandon ship before you get bent over and screwed up the wazoo next. "

    Er... you're new to this aren't you? The stuff was stolen from a known scamming thief, it's the Python Cartel

  11. I have to say this is one of the best trolls I think I have ever seen the Python pull off. Intead of Spectre just posting another 'goodbye I'm off EvE etc etc' they have made a great storyline up.

    Props to the Pythons for that.


  12. Also wtf are you guys doing in Isho! Thats ours!! Lolz

  13. GH does a petition about account sharing.
    You and Spectre get banned.
    GH gets full power.

  14. Simple. Auction it off to the highest bidder.

    You don't need it. Chances are good that the current member base aren't too happy with you right now (although they might be, seeing as Spectre was an absolute douchebag). Maybe one of them wants to take it over. Maybe they'll pool their money to buy it back from you. Either way, you get more isk and are free to do what you choose.

  15. Not that I approve of you yuppie corporate takeover life style, but for your next op - it's:
    All your alliance are belongs to us.

    Other than that: Great story arc!

    (My free advice: You're a pirate, right? Ransom the corp!)

  16. Lolz. I'm so glad I got outta this corp. Funny as hell though.


  17. Disband it then: Can I havez all the stuffz?

  18. In gonna call epic win on this, I know it's easy to say that (nit having built the Corp and all) but epic takeover none the less.

    Normal mode: continue Corp on same path

    God mode: loot everything from Corp, disband everything, then sell It

  19. You will find, as Stalin did, that eventually, he could trust no one, and thus surrounded by sycophants, fighting over what remains... people will desert, or you'll want to boot them, shoot them, or both.

    I say save what you got, disband and move. Let it blow over, and work on taking down a bigger corp than python.

  20. I'd suggest take it, kick everyone from the corp, steal the ISK'ies, and give the corp and alliance name to one of your alts that you never log in with. Billion of ISK won

    All hail the ultimate jerk of the Jerk Cartel!